13 grunner til A? feire bypA?ske

bergen_johanneskirken_student

FRED I SJELEN: I Bergen slipper du snA?, afterski og uforpliktende sex. ILLUSTRASJON: SIMEN LANGELAND

BypA?ske trenger ikke vAi??re noe dA?rligere enn pA?ske pA? fjellet. To bergensere gir deg 13 grunner til hvorfor det er minst like bra A? bli i Bergen i pA?sken.

APROPOS

Apropos er den frie spalten der Studvest-journalistene kan skrive om akkurat det de vil. SprA?ket er ofte i muntlig form, og med et glimt i A?yet. OBS! Spalten har hA?y fA?rekomst av satire, sarkasme og ironi, og bA?r tas med en klype (noenAi??ganger en neve) salt.

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TRYGGE RAMMER. Nyt pA?sken i Bergen ute under trygge forhold, med liten fare for A? bli solbrent eller brun. FOTO: LINNEA SKARE OSKARSEN.

1. Byen tA?mmes for A?stlendinger.

2. Det er statistisk sett mye mindre sjanse for A? knekke nakken i slalA?mbakken dersom man ikke er i slalA?mbakken.

3. Du slipper A? ligge med masse random folk pA? afterski.

4. Det kommer sikkert til A? regne hver dag, sA? du vil aldri mA?tte kjenne pA? dA?rlig samvittighet for A? bli inne hele dagen og ikke utnytte finvAi??ret.

5. Hvis du er jente slipper du A? investere drA?ssevis av kronasjer i ullundertA?y fra Kari Traa-kolleksjonen.

6. Du blir alene i kollektivet hele uken, med andre ord vil du kunne sprade rundt naken mens du fritt kan hA?re pA? Kendrick Lamar og Travis Scott, uten A? bli anklaget for A? vAi??re en wannabe-gangster av de jAi??vla Ed Sheeran-elskende hvitingene du vanligvis bor med.

7. Byen tA?mmes for rogalendinger.

8. Du sparer jAi??vlig mye penger pA? ikke A? dra til et snobbete alpinsenter. Dette er penger som kan gA? til andre ting, som A?l. Mye A?l.

9. Du kan ta med deg en solo og en appelsin til et av Bergens mange solarium, slappe av og bli pA?skebrun under kontrollerte forhold. Slik unngA?r du A? bli solbrent, og alle kommer til A? digge deg.

10. Med halve studentmassen emigrert til Geilo, Trysil eller hvor i helgoland de drar, er det faktisk en sjanse for at du kommer deg inn pA? Vaskeriet pA? onsdagskvelden.

11. BA?de Studentsenteret og Vektertorget er stengt i pA?sken, sA? du har med andre ord to gode unnskyldninger for A? ikke trene hele ferien. Spis det du vil med god samvittighet, det er vel for faen ikke din skyld at du ikke kan ta en lA?petur pA? mA?llen. Du hadde definitivt gjort det om muligheten var der.

12. Byen tA?mmes for trA?ndere.

13. Du slipper A? dele pA?skegodtet med andre enn deg selv.

P.S.: Hvis noen har to ekstra sengeplasser i Hemsedal eller pA? Geilo til neste pA?ske allerede, sA? er det bare A? kontakte oss. Dere finner oss pA? Facebook.

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