Dei sju kinovettreglane

TEKST AV: Synne Grimen Hammervoll. FOTO: HANNE GEVING.

TEKST AV: Synne Grimen Hammervoll. FOTO: HANNE GEVING.

Ein skulle tru mesteparten av det fA?lgjande ikkje var nA?dvendig A? seie. Men med lang erfaring som kinogjengar mA? eg konkludere med at kinovettreglane trengs.

Apropos

Apropos er den frie spalten der Studvest-journalistene kan skrive om akkurat det de vil. SprA?ket er ofte i muntlig form, og med et glimt i A?yet. OBS! Spalten har hA?y forekomst av satire, sarkasme og ironi, og bA?r tas med en klype (noenAi??ganger en neve) salt.

Eg er over gjennomsnittet glad i A? gA? pA? kino. Der kan eg sjA? filmar utan distraksjonar. Som oftast. Det spA?rs alltid litt pA? kven som sit saman med meg. Derfor har eg laga ei liste med fullstendig egoistiske, men subjektivt sett veldig gode tips til korleis folk skal oppfA?re seg pA? kino.

  1. Hei, du som tek av deg skoa og snik foten din inn mellom setaAi??framforAi??for A? kvile den der: Det er ikkje kult, og tA?fisen din stinkar.
  2. On that note (for A? seie det pA? godt norsk), treng du heller ikkje sparke i seteryggen til dei framforAi??deg. Du er ikkje ein femA?ring pA? eit fly, og burde ikkje halde pA? slik.
  3. Det er mogleg eg byrjar A? dra pA? A?ra no, men kva er greia med dagens unge og mobiltelefonar pA? kino? Legg den vekk. Du treng verkenAi??Messenger, Candy Crush eller Snapchat medan du er pA? kino. Ikkje minst er dette til ekstremt stor plage for dine nabomenn og – kvinnerAi??i desse timane.
  4. Denne gjeld nok dei fAi??rraste der ute, men ein tidlegare klassekamerat tok ein gong med seg avis pA? kino. Det gA?r ikkje an A? bla stille i VG. Det gA?r berre ikkje an.
  5. Og nA?r ein er inne pA? dette med lyd: HA?glytte snacksposar er ein uting. Nok sagt.
  6. Eg skal ikkje nekte deg A? kviskre litt til sidemannen, det er eg nok skuldig i A? gjere sjA?lv, A?g. Men om de har tenkt A? halde ein samtale gA?ande kunne de fA?tt fire-fem koppar kaffe pA? ein av dei mange kafeane i nAi??rleiken av kinoen for samme pris som kinobilletten. Faktisk, om de veit kvar de skal gA?, kan de fA? sA? mange som tolv. Eller eit uendeleg antall gratis dersom de har Saman-koppen. Eg berre seier det.
  7. Det er aldri for seint A? snu, blir det sagt. SA? om du er sein, mA? du gjerne snu for min del. Folk som kjem inn i salen etter at filmen har begynt, og sA? skal jobbe seg gjennom rekkene for A? finne plassane sine er ikkje velkomne hos meg.

SA? her har du ein guide til neste kinotur. Del den med dine kinovenner, og ta gjerne med deg lista pA? neste filmutflukt. Men sjA? punkt fire og seks, dA?.

SynneHammervold

 

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